10 Secrets I’ve Never Told About My Depression

By: Mandey Tewalt

1. I think about suicide every single day.

 

It is pretty much a constant thought. I try not to dwell on it, and I actively resist making any plans. No matter how hard I try, though, it’s always there.

I feel like your lives would improve if mine ended. I hate what my illness is doing to your hearts and

I want to stop it.

I see the damage my disorder is doing to you, and I hate myself for being this way.

I would give up the whole world to stop it.

2. I sometimes hurt myself.

Yes. Sometimes I do slip into a dark enough place, and I hurt myself. It helps to get me numb enough to get out of that place.

It draws me away from the darkness that is swallowing me and forces me into the very real present moment.

I do not advocate for this! It leaves scars on my body and forces me to make excuses.

I am without any real recourse if anyone guesses at my secret.

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